Insensitive or too sensitive?

Past few weeks I’ve been kind of uninterested in Youtube, and by Youtube, I mean the people I’m subscribed to. I haven’t really been keeping up with them, mainly because I’ve been focusing on my reality. Today I had some free time so I decided to catch up on some of the videos of the people I usually watch.

I saw a new upload from a young Christian interracial couple. I can’t remember the title of the vlog, but it caught my attention. Needless to say I only watched like the first 5 minutes (maybe 7) of the vlog. I couldn’t stand to watch another minute. The beginning of the vlog was basically of the wife, who is black taking out her braid extensions. She was expressing her frustrations with her hair, because she is newly natural. That was fine we all gripe about our hair. When her husband, who is white walked in he started making “jokes” about her hair, and she chimed in. Calling natural hair nappy, and other things, not only did he make remarks that are easily offensive, especially to their viewers he said “black people take a joke”, “I’m just joking” while making jokes and even mentioning Lupita. The wife, proceeded to say” if anyone is offended they are stupid”. Guess I’m stupid because I stopped watching immediately.

“Well Des, why are you so offended?” Glad you asked. I’m not offended by her thoughts of her hair, or her husband’s thoughts about her hair. What offends me is the insensitivity that we as black people are continued to face, so much so that we do it to ourselves. What offends me is that black people are continuously made the but of everyone’s joke and if we aren’t laughing along we are “too sensitive.” What offends me is the plight of black people is made a mockery of.

People love to say someone is being “too sensitive”, but the fact of the matter is, people aren’t being sensitive enough! It’s so easy to make “jokes” or make statements about something you aren’t facing, something you aren’t in. Black people are told constantly to “get over” slavery, “get over” injustices like Trayvon Martin, and Jordan Davis, Emmett Till, we are told to “get over” the fact that even today we still don’t see people that look like us on the screen, unless they’re slaves, side chicks or criminals. I won’t get over it, and I’m not being “too sensitive”. America, the media, music, movies, etc are run by people that are insensitive, people that will NEVER know what it’s like to be black in America!

For the people that do know what it’s like to be black in America; making a mockery of the plight your people faced in the past and continue to face is not funny nor will it ever be. Don’t allow yourselves to be brainwashed into thinking it’s okay. People generally make fun of themselves because they want to beat other people to it, or they want to be accepted by others so they make themselves the joke. Look I’m not trying to be accepted by anyone. I refuse to be the but of any “black people jokes”. It’s just down right ignorant.

 -I saw a meme of Jesus Christ, talking with kids and one kid was black and the caption said “Give it to me Tyrone, I know you took it” (something along those lines) implying that the black kid stole something. People find that hilarious, I find it ignorant, and distasteful, and I’m puzzled at the black folks that find it so hilarious. Mind boggling.-

For anyone that is vocal about anything keep in mind it’s not what you say, or how you say but how it’s received. I know a lot of people say “I’m going to say what I say, and how you take it is your business”. That’s not the attitude to have. When you are communicating something to someone, especially those that don’t know you well, you want to be sure that what you’re saying is communicated with clarity. It’s very immature to say things off the hip and leave it up to the other person to figure out what was said, or how it should be taken. Perception is everything! Being that we don’t know how people are going to perceive things, we must be careful of what we’re saying and how we’re saying it.

I’m not perfect, and I’m very mindful of what and how I say things. Filtering your thoughts, or opinions, isn’t NOT keeping it real. It’s keeping it real enough to make sure you don’t offend anyone. - For example, Just because someone doesn't look cute, or handsome, it isn't your business to tell them that.- I never want to purposely offend someone, or be insensitive to others. I know how powerful words are, so I’m mindful of the way I use them.

There is NOTHING wrong with joking, or laughing at jokes. I live for a good joke(not literally), however, not at the expense of something that’s kept or keeping a people down. Not something that is hurtful to others. Some jokes are better left at the kitchen table!

If you love someone tell them.

I love you

Destaynee.