Bullies; How many of us are one?

If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s a bully.  Bullies are living and acting in denial and are unable to see/admit to the issues they have going on. So they find, what they think are flaws in other people and maximize on them. Most bullies have problems with their self-esteem. Either they were bullied before, or they have issues from other areas in their life.

Back in the days, and by back in the days I mean the middle school days of my generation lol. The bullies would call you names after class or in the halls and maybe some bandwagon bullies would join in, but that was it.

Actually I’ll share my experience with bullying. In the 7^th grade I attended Lake Braddock Secondary School in Burke Va. I was the “new girl” (the life story of every military brat). For most 7^th graders that’s an awkward stage (especially when your middle school is fused with a high school.) you’re trying to fit in, but stay true to what your parents taught you, you’re growing and going through puberty it’s just awkward. For me it was even more awkward because I had eczema. At this time my eczema was at its worst, so I got teased for that. I was affected by bullying, as most people are in some way. I had low self-esteem issues that stuck with me for years, I was depressed and even wanted to commit suicide. This is also when I started writing, and got into music heavily. It also caused me want to stand up for those that were bullied.

 These days bullying has gone so much further than just calling someone names in the hallways. These days technology will have people across America taking part in the bullying. Everyone likes a good laugh, but why does it always have to be at someone else’s expense?

We have all seen the meme’s of different people, and different slogans or phrases on them, but the thing that really burnt my toast, was this “JadaPose” and ‘Twitterpurge” that were trending topics on Twitter recently. I’ll give a little background  based on my knowledge of the two.

The Jada Pose came about because a young black girl was drugged and raped by multiple men, and those men took a picture of her naked body and it went viral on the internet. People not knowing fully about the situation called her every name under the book. People were blaming her for what happen etc, even though you can clearly see in the picture that she is unconscious. This Twitter Purge, people on twitter were posting explicit (naked) pictures of people that sent them to them. Turns out some young women committed suicide because of this “Twitter purge”.

This tells me a few things about the thought process of this generation (Well of people in general actually). Obviously no one cares about rape, because “it’s the victims fault” and no one cares about how anyone else feels, as long as the joke isn’t about them. Selfish! The bible says “Men will become lovers of themselves” Selfishness is the epitome of being a lover of one’s self.

You might be saying “Well Destaynee that isn’t necessarily bullying” Yes it is according to the dictionary the synonyms of Bullying are persecute, oppress, tyrannize, browbeat, harass, torment, intimidate, strong-arm, dominate.  Jada experienced that as well as the victims of “The twitter purge” I know you’re saying “Well they shouldn’t be taking naked pictures and sending them to other people anyway”. I completely agree! Your body is yours and it isn’t to be shared with others, especially not through text or social media. However, I’m not here to judge anyone who has done that, but I am here to stand up for those that were persecuted, oppressed, harassed and tormented to the point they felt their life wasn’t worth living anymore. I’m here to stand up for the girl in the meme with the cheerleading uniform, and Terio and the countless others. (I don’t care what y’all say, Terio is being exploited and his obesity is child abuse)

Do I chuckle a bit when I see certain pictures? Yes, we all have a sense of humor, but I’m not going to pass them on. I’m not going to write them on social media and embarrass them more. At the end of every day everyone has feelings and emotions. The problem with social media is we tend to forget that behind these avi’s, usernames and bio’s is a person. You never know how strong or fragile a person may be. You never know where their frame of mind is that day. You never know how close to the edge a person might be, and your words might be the words that send them over the edge. The bible says in Hebrews 10:24 “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works”

As Christians the only REAL proof of our relationship with Christ is in our actions. Let’s act like Christ and not like the world. Let’s remember in all that we do to consider those that may be affected by our words, and/or our actions. Let’s do better.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee

I got the job!

As you can probably tell by the title, “I GOT THE JOB”! Yes! I finally got another, job and this time it’s full time!! Now I know some people are thinking “Well Destaynee, what took so long, you have a young child” or “Why is this “blog worthy”. I suppose those are fair questions.

For the past 2 years I’ve been working at a place that only gives part time. Out of all of the employee’s only 6 (non-mangers) get full time. If you’ve read my previous blogs, or my testimony, you know that was a blessing for me because after I had my son, I was unemployed for quite a while. Those were hard times but during those times is when my relationship with Christ really matured. I really learned about God for myself and not just what my parents taught me. I was able to really get to know the characteristics of God. That’s when I learned that God REALLY is Jehovah Jireh! That’s when I learned how much God really loved and cared for me and my son, and so much more.

In this 2 years working at this place, I’ve learned so much good and bad. I’ve experienced racism in a way I haven’t in a while or before. I’ve experienced what it meant to be a light in a dark place. I always say “it’s easy to be a Christian when you’re in church, or your church environment, but what about when you get to your work place?” I felt like I was really put to the test day after day as far as what I learned about walking in love, and loving your enemy. I learned how to evangelize to others (although I didn’t know I was doing it while I was doing it lol). My eyes were really opened up and saw that people really believe that if they’re a “good person” they will make it to heaven. My heart broke on a regular basis for people. (Mainly because I asked God to break my heart for what broke his. Yea don’t pray for that if you aren’t ready lol because he will do it!) 

  This job really helped me grow as a Christian. I know a lot of things that happened here, weren’t right, but I know God had his hands on me the whole time. I needed it to grow and develop in other ways as a Christian. (If you’re going through hard times on your job, just remain prayerful. Uphold the integrity of Christ. God see’s what you’re going through and he will honor you.  Remember, it’s about him and not about us, so sometimes we have to go through rough times for the sake of the gospel. We are to be witnesses, not an emotionally led hypo-Christians)  

First Sunday in July, with my mini man

During these 2 years I have been looking for a second job, more so in the latter year.  I’ve gone on interviews, but nothing ever worked out for me. Rejection is never easy, especially when you’re trying your absolute best. Doing all that you can. The sting of rejection lessens when you realize and fully understand that your hope is in God and not the person/company that may reject you. When you realize and fully understand that God is truly in control, not receiving a call back won’t end your world. During this time of job hunting for me, was good and bad. Every time I received a call for an interview, I was like “Yes, God see’s what’s going on, he knows I need this.” And when I didn’t get the job, sometimes it would sadden me, even down right depress me, but I was reminded that a closed door is also a blessing. (Rejection is a form of God’s protection, I blogged about that pertaining relationships check it out)

Now the way I heard about the job I just got was so divine.  I pulled into work and when I do, I always scope out the parking lot to see who I’m working with. (lol I have to get my mind right before I deal with some folks, so I need to know lol) This one co-worker that was working, I haven’t worked with in a while, honestly I prayed for that. (This guy would always try to hug on me(yes I’m a hugger BUT),I’m very particular about my personal space, and people touching me etc) So I was praying, “Lord, you know how I feel about this co-worker, there has to be some reason why I’m working with him, help me have an open mind and if you would have me to say something, let me say it”.. So I we went on about work as usual. He was opening up to me about some personal things and then started talking about this job he just got. Long story short, he was the one told me about the job that I just received! See How God works!!

So I shared ALL of that to say these few things:

              *If you are in a tight situation, looking for a job or a better job, please keep your eyes on God. Put your hope in him. He is the ultimate source, for all of our needs.

      *Use this time to really build your relationship with Christ. Really get to know him in a way that you might not have before.

  * Keep your eyes on YOUR portion. It’s easy to compare yourself to others and question, “why aren’t I there yet” or “why do they have this and I don’t”. When we’re dealing with God, we are working on HIS time. So it’s pointless to compare your situation because God is using you for a different purpose. There is no one way street to get through life. God has us all on different paths that are subjective to us and our purpose. Keep your eyes on what he has for you. Stop watering other peoples grass!

*You never know who God might use in his plan to bless you. We really have to be Christ like towards everyone, because you never know who needs to hear a word from you, and you never know who might bless you.

I know some people are thinking “why are you telling your business”. Honestly I shouldn’t have to give this disclaimer, but I will. When God told me what I was purposed to do, in whatever form allotted to me, he told me I had to be transparent. Despite popular belief, I am a very private person, I don’t like a big fuss made, and I don’t like people too into my business. However, if it’s something that will glorify God, I have no problem sharing. I know that the things I go through, or have gone through are for this very reason. To encourage someone, and let them know they can get through it as well, and to show of God’s goodness.

“Jesus promised he’ll take care of me” and he’s been doing just that! Thank you Lord.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee