Just do you!

“I heard a voice that told me I’m essential. How all my fears are limiting my potential. Said it’s time to step into the light and, use every bit of the power I have inside and. So what you waiting on? Who you waiting for? If you don’t take a chance you’ll never know what’s in store. Just do you, somebodies got to be a star, just do you somebodies got to raise the bar, just do you somebodies got to change the game, just do you today.” (Just do you by India Arie)

I actually didn’t plan on blogging today. I was just writing in my journal and listening to some classic India Arie.( Purify me, Brown Skin, Truth is, Little things Just to name a few) Then I came across her newer song “Just do you”. Now I’ve heard this song before, mostly at work, but I never really listened to the words. I’ve been listening to this song for at least 30 minutes, singing at the top of my lungs and dancing. When a song speaks to my soul, I wear it out, and this song is definitely speaking to me.

The first verse of this song is really what captured me lyrically. (Don’t get me wrong the musicality of this song is awesome, all the instruments that you can hear, and how the melody just blends, ahh lol) It’s a mirror image of a conversation that I’ve had with God once before. He told me I have something to offer this world, to offer his people. I have something to bring to the table. I’m a necessary and a valuable player to his plan. If you didn’t grow up knowing that about yourself, it takes having a conversation with God for you to realize it. It will take reading his word and growing deeper with him to understand it and having a relationship with him to believe it. Sometimes the devil will try to plant little seeds in our head to tell you otherwise, and that’s when you’ll either have to revisit that conversation, the bible or have another conversation with him. You are essential to this life. According to the dictionary essential means: absolutely necessary. You are absolutely necessary in whatever area or point you are in your life. In whatever relationship you’re in. Whatever ministry you are in, you are essential. Whatever desires or idea’s you have, they too are essential.  No matter how you felt growing up, or even how you feel now, you have a purpose. You are important, and you’re here for a reason.

Now our fears could limit our potential. Once we realize, understand and believe that we are essential and that, we were birthed with a purpose; we can’t allow fear to stop that purpose. Now we know that whatever God has planned will happen, regardless of if we are on board or not. His will be done.  We just have to trust his plans and his will. (When you are just meeting someone, you don’t fully trust them because you don’t know them, but once you get to know them it’s easier for you to trust them. Same goes with God. Once you dig deeper with him and get to know him better, you’ll know he’s a God of his word. You’ll know he loves you, he cares about you, and he wants nothing but the best for you. Getting to know God is a constant thing, no one will ever come into the full knowledge of God because he is just so amazing. That’s why we have to have relationship with God.)

If God has placed a passion or a desire on your heart, don’t allow fear to stop you from fulfilling it or believing him for it. I know at times it can be easier said than done. That’s something that I face sometimes pertaining ministry. You have an idea that you know is from God, but you are afraid to step out and do it because you might not have people in your corner, people might not understand it or support it. What I remind myself is that God has my back. If he’s giving me something to do, an idea, an “assignment” he has my back 100% even when people don’t.  I know some people don’t agree with me writing a blog, and being so transparent about certain things in my life, but God placed transparency on my heart. He told me people are hurting the same ways I was, and they need to know they can get through it, because he got me through it. It’s scary sometimes because our human nature kicks in and we get concerned with how people are going to judge us. Just remember, people are going to judge regardless, thankfully their judgment doesn’t make or break us, but God has our back!! Don’t let fear hinder you from fulfilling your purpose! Don’t let fear limit your potential!

When India Arie says “it’s time to step into the light and use every bit of the power I have inside”. The power we have inside us as Christians is The Holy Spirit. That is the light that shines through us, that is the power, the strength that gets us through day to day. It’s time we utilize The Holy Spirit properly! It’s like we know we have the spirit dwelling within us when times are happy and we’re shouting in church, but what about when we are trying to conquer our fears? What about when we are going through tough times? What about when we are trusting God to help us fulfil our purpose? Have we forgotten the Spirit that is dwelling within us? Have we forgotten the power we have access to? The bible says ask and ye shall receive. We have the power to ask God and he will give it to us. If we utilized our faith, the size of the mustard seed, we could move mountains! That’s some powerful stuff and we have access to it!

So what are you waiting on? Who are you waiting for?

To me “Just do you” means just be who God created you to be. Trust who he made you to be, even if it’s not popular, even if you don’t look or sound like someone else. Trust the passion, desires and idea's he has given you. Don’t let fear stop you, don’t let it limit you. Don’t let your situation or circumstances stop you. Just do you. Trust that he made no mistakes. Surely he didn’t make a mistake sending his only begotten son, Jesus Christ down to earth to die for our sins. So know that he would never make a mistake in how he made you, what he made you to be, what desires he placed on your heart. It all has a purpose and it all has a reason! Trust, believe and have faith! Just do you!

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee

Mother's Day 2014

If you’re looking for a sappy Mother’s Day poem, you won’t find it here.

If you’re looking to see Mother’s day from a non-commercialized perspective then you’re in the right place.

Now I’m not sure if I’m going post this, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to write it. People only like things when they are sweet, rainbows and sunflowers. Life as a young single mother, is not always sweet, rainbows and sunflowers. Reality is, there are some rough patches, hard times, and sleepless nights. However, no one talks about them, and no one cares about them.

Last night on Twitter, one of my friends from high school was tweeting about how it was for her as a teen mom. How she couldn’t be “excited” about the birth of her daughter because she was a teenager.  I had my son almost a month after I turned 20, so I can’t identify with the “teen mom” title per say, but it’s all the same. A lot of the things she was saying, I could totally relate to, as well as many other young mom’s and it was just heart breaking.

Holidays have always been “chill” for me. I never make a big fuss; I’ve spent Thanksgiving alone, New Years etc. I don’t really “hype” up over them. Mother’s day is no different. I guess because for the 4 years I’ve been a mother, it’s always an afterthought, when it comes to people acknowledging me as a mother. From relatives, friends, etc. I don’t get to hear that celebratory, genuine, enthusiastic “Happy Mother’s Day!!” that we told our mothers when we were kids. Expect from my son, I guess that’s all that matters right?!

Yesterday my son hurt his arm, playing rough. He wasn’t bleeding, it wasn’t fractured or nothing, no big deal. Well because I didn’t make a big deal over it someone very condescendingly said “Wow, mother of the year.”  At first it really hurt my feelings, because once again my efforts as a mother were being made a joke. I said “You know what; I am mother of the year. When my son was bullied at school, I cut back hours at work so I can sit in the classroom with him every day for 3 months. I then took him out of the school, before they tried to label him and stayed at home with him for over a month, then when I found a school I felt was good enough I enrolled him. So yes I am mother of the year, these past few months have been some of the hardest. I’ve had to make tough decisions, but I’ve done my best!” That person didn’t have a response.

 I remember crying out to a relative about the situation I just mentioned. The response I got was “Well this is the path you choose, when you decided to have a kid at 20, you don’t hear women in their 30’s complaining about taking care of their kids, so I don’t want to hear it from you.”

Mini Man's first birthday

The pain that caused me in my heart was unreal! Who says that?!

People always see a young mom or a single mom voicing their experiences and/or crying out for help as complaining. Truth is, we need a support system just like anybody else. Many of us don’t get that because either the people around us don’t agree with the choice we made, they don’t agree with us being an unwed mother, or they’ve been through it, and they want us to “learn” from our “mistakes”.  Truth is, most of us don’t want handouts or pity parties. We just want the same opportunities as every other mother. We want the same respect as every other mother.

I want to say HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, to all mothers. (Today is not that only day you can/should feel special. You should feel special every day knowing that God opened your womb and placed another life in there. That is amazing!! He chose you, to be a mother, a teacher, a doctor (unlicensed/or licensed) counselor, best friend and so much more.) From the young mother’s to the old mothers. To the new mom’s to the seasoned mom’s. The mom’s that had to put their children up for adoption, to the moms that stepped in an adopted those children. To the mother’s that lost their child to miscarriage, or forced abortion. You are to be celebrated! Regardless of your age, marital status, or situation you are a blessing to this world, and more importantly to your child(ren).

Mini man at 5 months

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee