Was I really serving mammon?

When you think of serving mammon over God what do you typically think of?

I typically thought of people not going to church, but doing stuff of the world, partying, chasing money, chasing people with no thought or regard to God.

Today My Pastor preached from Matthew 6:24-34 which is talking about how you can’t serve God and mammon. The scripture says “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

It’s a harsh reality but many of us; church going, scripture quoting Christians, are serving mammon, and because we don’t feel the  hate towards God, we don’t think we are doing the very thing we are told we can’t nor shouldn’t do.

Past few weeks I have not been myself. I have been completely drained, exhausted mentally, emotionally, physically and more importantly spiritually. I knew the cause of my exhaustion but I didn’t know to what extent nor did I know what to do with it.

Past few weeks at my job have been extremely rough. Not only are we remodeling, I experience some of the most blatant disrespect, racism, prejudice and discrimination alive at my job. Every day, if it’s not from a customer, it’s from a manager, or a coworker. The things I experience you would think we were still in the 50’s. I feel like I have a huge unmovable target on my head, every time I step across the threshold of my job. Now I know we are at a spiritual battle, but I didn’t know I was going to be on the front line at work lol. What better place to be attacked though right? On the job when you are supposed to be upholding the integrity of Christ. When you are supposed to be the light, and the salt. Why am I surprised?  The devil uses whoever is allowing them to be used!

I repented for not handling the situation properly. I would come home with headaches almost every day so frustrated with the mess I was dealing with from work. I would come home and fall asleep while reading books to my son. I literally went to sleep just to wake up and do it all over again. Overnight I became one of those “rise and grind” folk. The very saying I despised, I was living out!! I was so emotional, I cried at work; I’d cry on my lunch break, I’d cry on the way home. Just telling myself I was doing the best I could for my son. I was so broken. I felt depressed; the very way I felt when I was jobless. I felt guilty for complaining about the job and the treatment I received because I asked God for a job, and he gave it to me. I didn’t want to be and ungrateful child. –The devil was tricking my mind. God knows and knew I wasn’t ungrateful, but I allowed the devil to trick me into believing that lie. I wasn’t guarding my mind-

I bet you’re wondering, was I praying? Was I in my word? Yes I was praying, but it was more so for my son. My prayer for myself was to get me through the day; it wasn’t a detailed prayer at all. I was so busy trying to “fix” this situation and get myself “through” the situation by myself, that I wasn’t giving my cares to God. I wasn’t casting my burden on God! I wasn’t even reading like I usually do. I would read my devotional in between customers or on my lunch break, but not in the morning like I usually do. So not only was I on the front line in this battle, but I was properly communicating with my general (God) and I wasn’t reading the itinerary (bible) or the plans that was going to help me get through these days. I was an unprepared solider. I was an unprepared solider going into battle aimlessly, not properly defending myself and certainly not attacking. I indirectly was serving mammon, and not God!!

When I heard the word today, I felt so bad, but I knew God was talking to me.

Pastor gave 3 main points; I’m going to define what each point means to me.

1.) The problem of Mastership. Basically who is the master of your life? Who are you answering and reporting to? Who are you living for?  Who do you belong to? Often times, like me I didn’t even know I was serving mammon. I think it’s important that we KNOW who we are serving, and I’m sure a lot of all are like “girl please, I know I’m serving God and God alone”. Yea but are you really if you obey your boss but not God? Are you really serving God when you’re only doing things to get a response from people, to gain popularity from people? Are you honestly serving God when you wake up and send out that Good morning tweet, before you thank God for allowing you to see this day? Are you REALLY serving God when you put off bible study or your own personal time with God to hang out with your friends? We have to be sure we are really serving God in all the things that we are doing, he must be first!

2.) The problem of priority. Are we really making God a priority? Saying grace and repenting before communion is not making Christ a priority. Just as we set aside time to eat, to take a shower, to wash our clothes, to visit friends and family, we have to set aside time DAILY for Christ. In order to be seeking God diligently, that requires work which requires action we have to be making an effort. What better way to get to know someone than to spend time with them? Get better acquainted with God, through reading of his word, through worship and prayer. You can’t have a relationship with someone you don’t communicate with, same thing applies to God. Spend time with him!

3.) The problem of anxiety. During my past few weeks of not taking my problems to God, and trying to figure it out on my own I was always anxious. I was always worried about how I was going to do this and do that. I wasn’t at peace. My mind was going a million miles a minute because I was trying to basically take on the world. I was trying to help the people that came to me, I was trying to encourage others, I was trying to do everything literally. Honestly I don’t know how I made it these past few weeks without having a major break down. Oh he kept me, so I wouldn’t let go. Nothing but the grace of God and I’m so very thankful.

John 10:10 says “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly”

The enemy comes to steal, to steal our time away from God, he comes to kill out joy and destroy our peace. But John 14:27 says “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” We aren’t to be afraid because Jesus has given us peace. He is peace! I find it some incredibly amazing that God instructs us to have courage, and to not be afraid so often in the bible, because he KNEW the things we would face. He is so amazing!

Serving God is a steady belief in him. Hebrews 11:6 says “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” That means no matter how rough it is we have to believe that God is capable of doing the impossible. We have to have faith that he not only has us in the positions we are in for a reason, and that he will take us out of them. 

Serving God means that our actions, our beliefs have to line up with our profession of who he is. We can’t say “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me” but are secretly fearing that he might not do it. That is serving your fear, not God! Serving God is also giving thanks regardless of the situation. Throughout this situation with my job, I’ve learned a lot about myself as a Christian and as a black woman living in America. I thank God because he has shown me the importance of remaining who I am no matter what is going on around me. He has really shown me what praying for your enemies really means. He has shown me how no matter how awful a person treats you; you still have to treat them with love. God is an awesome teacher, and I thank him so much for taking the time to teach me these things, about myself and other people.

I believe the bible when it says in Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.”

 This is why I’m able to be transparent with you all throughout my difficult times and my victorious times. I know I’m not the only one experiencing this spiritual warfare, and I’m not the only one who needs encouragement along this journey.

So I pray that not only that God be glorified by my blog, but that someone somewhere is encouraged. I said it before and I’ll be saying it all my life, I am not perfect, I am not holier than thou, I can share my down faults at the expense of judgment from others because I know it’s not about me. It’s ALL about the building of God’s kingdom. I’m all about my father’s business.

I pray that God shows us the area’s in our life where we have placed something or someone before him, and that he reveals it to us in such a way that we understand and that we quickly repent and put God back on the throne. Back in first place!

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee

Half naked pic's?

To the girl on my newsfeed and to the girl on my timeline:

You’re worth much more than posting half naked pic’s. 

Sure you’ll get a lot of attention, but those guys just want to hit the like button, and smash the save and download button. 

Don’t you know a man would be happy to find you? 

But he won’t be able to find you if you’re hiding behind your hips, breast and thighs. 

Help redirect his eye’s from your body to your mind.

 Sis understand, a man that’s worth your time will need you to stimulate more than his body, but his mind.

 Sis every man doesn’t need to know you’re a brick house before your husband knows. 

We can see that you got it going on in your regular clothes. 

Getting half naked for what?

 I guess you’re trying to convince yourself?

Since I can't hug and have a sit down conversation with some young ladies, I just free-styled this poem in the form of a letter because when I logged on to my facebook this afternoon, (besides the pictures of kids on their first days of school) were of women half dressed. Half-dressed club pic’s, or just dressed regularly but exposing more than what should be. I know a lot of the secular artist and “creative” people like to try to convince women that being naked or half naked is a form of self-expression. They try to convince you that you are liberated by wearing as much or as little as you want to. Please don’t be fooled by that logic. They are just getting women to do exactly what they wanted the whole time, to be exposed.

When I was younger, when I didn’t know my worth I wore exposing clothes. When I didn’t think I was pretty or felt confident I wore exposing clothes. I KNEW my body was on point. I knew it would grab attention of members of the opposite sex, but it was because I had self-esteem issues. I had no self-worth; I didn’t know how valuable I was. I didn’t even love myself. I would use my body as bait, to hook the attention of men. It still got me NO-WHERE because they only came because they thought they were getting something I wasn’t giving. I was false advertising. (The saying is dress how you want to be approached. If you’re dressed like a whore, you will be approached as one. Although I don’t think people should be treated that way, that’s how it is.)

This is one of my back in the day, lukewarm photos. Seeing this picture saddens me because I know how hurt I was. I was still celibate during this time, but still wanted male attention. Brings back memories of literally having to fight drunken men off me while walking to my car after the club. So not only was I searching for attention, but once I got it, it wasn't what I wanted nor needed. Lots of times coming home from the club, I'd call my friend Nick and just cry. Such a sad and lonely time.

I can praise God because he showed me I was much more than what I was portraying myself as. I was much more than a girl with a nice body, and sis so are you!!

The men that will make great husbands aren’t chasing after the chicks that are exposing everything to the internet. They are admiring the women that are dressed modestly yet cute. Ladies the bible tells us to dress modestly and humbly, that does not mean homely. You can still be fashionable, modest, sophisticated and cute. Exposing your body does not equate fashionable, it equates desperate for attention, “thirsty”, lack of confidence, and low self-esteem.

It pains me to see a woman exposing herself because I know exactly how she’s feelings, because I was once there. There is something in your life that is not making you feel whole, complete, or valuable so you have to try to find your worth by using your body. I may not be the most attractive woman or any of those things, but I’m feeling the most confident about myself than I ever have. I never felt this confident until I found out what God said about me, what he thought of me and what he feels about me. I was never this confident until I took the time to place God’s opinion of me above the opinions of the media, the guys, the women everybody. This confidence is because of the confidence I have in my God. I know that what he put in me is priced far above anything that can be seen on the exterior. Ladies and men, know that the person that is worthy of you is the person that is willing and wanting to look at your heart first. The person that is able to look past what you are or aren’t “working with”.

As Christians we always say “I want people to see God before they see me” well sis they aren’t going to be able to see God, if you have your girls hanging out your shirt. Or if you have your skirt so short we can see up your back.

Understand that presentation IS everything. We judge how good a meal is going to be by the way the plate is presented to us. We judge how clean a store is by its outward presentation. We don’t even go into certain neighborhoods because of how the entrance looks. So sis if your outward presentation is saying worldly, video girl, hoochie momma, what god are you REALLY representing?

I’m not saying don’t wear shorts, don’t wear skirts, leggings! NO NO NO because I wear them too. Just be MINDFUL of the way you wear them, especially if you are representing God, especially if you want to be approached and addressed in a certain manner, be MINDFUL of how you present yourself.

Sis this is all said with love. I just want you to know that your worth won’t be found in how you or your body looks, but in God’s word. He has your worth waiting for you to seek him so he can give it to you. Nothing is more liberating and freeing than knowing that people’s opinions and expectations don’t matter just God’s. You’ll be free knowing that your appearance is fine in God’s eye’s you don’t have to buy sizes too small for him to think your beautiful or amazing, he gave you everything you have, just maximize on living for him and he will send the right man your way.

This picture was taken at my church for our a.r.m.y conference. Me, my son and Mali music. This picture is an example of being modestly dressed yet still cute (in my opinion) Not only to you have to put everything on display to look cute, but you can be modest and still feel cute!

Just as you trust God to wake you up every morning, trust him with your self-worth and self-confidence. Don’t depend on the word or the rating system of social media to give it to you, depend solely on Christ.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee