Have you ever done something with the intentions of being
obedient to God, just to be rejected by man? That’s exactly how I felt earlier
today.
Ever since I moved to this city I’ve been asking God how can
I reach the “unchurched” communities. In what way can I fulfill my purpose in
this city? Straight away God placed the homeless on my heart. For the past few
weeks I’ve been wondering how, when and where can I reach these people?
There is a park I used to go to back in my Cookman days, in-between
classes. There would always be a bunch of homeless people underneath the pavilions,
laying in the grass or sitting under the trees. Now for the past few weeks I’ve
been going to this park on my day off. I go there to relax, feel the breeze,
clear my mind.
Today was my day off, the day I go grocery shopping. I
picked up a pack of water bottles and decided I was going to be obedient to the
tugging on my heart, and go to that park. Now, I didn’t have a specific plan.
My “plan” was it’s hot, perfect opportunity to go help these people. Who doesn’t
need water?
I get to the park, carrying the pack of water saying “Hey,
how are you all?” Most of them responded, some groaned under their breath and
others were unbothered. I said “are you guys thirsty? I have some water here.”
Some happily sad yes please, others again were unbothered, and groaned. So I
proceeded to walk around the area greeting everyone with a “Hi, how are you”
and a smile, handing them water bottles. Some asked if I had beer, I laughed
and said “no, plus with this heat, water might be best”. A few asked if I had
food, and I apologized and said “I’m so sorry, no I don’t.” (I was going to buy
granola bars, but then I thought that someone might be allergic to the almonds
or peanuts. I’m dramatic so I was thinking someone might have an allergic
reaction and die, and then I’d be the girl that killed a homeless person with a
granola bar. I couldn’t live with that.)
As I was reaching the last person, I greeted him the same
way “Hi, how are you, would you like some water?
The last man:
*reaching in his pocket says* “Well, how much is this going to cost me?”
Me: Oh nothing sir,
this is for you, no cost at all.
The last man: “okay”
As I was walking away
and saying you’re welcome to those that were thanking me.
The last man: “Who
are you representing? What organization? What church?
Me: “Oh, I’m not here
under an organization, and my church is very far from here. I’m just here
representing Christ.
The last man: “but
why would you come out here?”
Me: “Well I come out
here sometimes, and I see people sitting here, so I figured maybe you guys were
thirsty and needed water.”
The last man: “Well
there’s a church on every corner and a gun in every pocket, why is that?”
Me: “Well yes there
are a lot of churches in this area, and it’s unfortunate when guns get in the
wrong hands bad things happen.”
The last man: “Yea
and someone in the bible it says even if you say Lord Lord God will say depart
from me I never knew you. Why is that?”
Another man:*interrupts*
“Leave her alone, she’s trying to do something nice!”
Me: "It’s okay, God
says that because he wants us to know him personally, to have relationship with
him. That is why Jesus died, so we can have relationship with God and not just
have religious traditions."
The last man: “yea
yea that God..”
Another man:*cutting
the last man off, walks over* “He’s an idiot, don’t waste your time. You’re a
beautiful black woman, you’re doing something nice. He’s just stupid. Leave her
alone you idiot.”
Me: “okay, well there’s
more water for you all and whomever else okay? God bless you all.”
As I got into my car, I just began to cry. I don’t know if
my feelings were hurt, or if I felt bad because he doesn’t believe in God.
Maybe he’s been hurt and blames God? Maybe I didn’t say the right things? What
if that was the only opportunity he will have to be ministered to?
I was not ready for the emotions I felt, but I allowed
myself to cry out and ask God those questions. Then I asked what did I do
wrong? He reassured me that what I did was right, in regards to wanting to
reach the people and actually putting it in action and not just saying it. God
reminded me that everyone isn’t going to accept him or his truths, or nice
gestures. Everyone isn’t going to believe, I know that, we all know that, but
that harsh reality hit me in that moment.
Leaving this park, I was so discouraged, but I’m not going
to let this stop me from wanting to help the people. Just like all things, I’m
going to learn from this experience and keep going.
-
I was skeptical in sharing this experience
because I don’t want to be seen as “bragging” or “high and mighty”. I also know
people may have negative thoughts, or say things like “why won’t she find an
organization and work with them, or her church?” Valid points, but when the
spirit is tugging on your heart, you have to respond.
I also wanted to share my experience mainly because I need
yall to pray for me lol, seriously. I really want to serve God’s people in
these communities without the “extra”. I’m just wanting to reach these regular
folk in a lowkey way. Also, I know I’m not the only one that has the desire to
help reach people outside the church. I want to share this experience and
hopefully hear yours.
I’m just “tryina take hope where there aint none.”
If you love someone tell them
I love you
Destaynee
