Are you really being Christ like?

        Despite popular belief being a Christian is much more than lining hymns Sunday morning, and praying for those on the sick and shut in list. It’s much more than attending meetings and ushering on the usher board. We know it’s much more than that John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” You must believe that Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and savior. You must believe that he died for your sins, he was in the tomb for 3 days, and Sunday morning he rose. (The death, the burial and the resurrection)

Unlike other religions we aren’t saved by what we do, what we do could never be enough to deserve his love or our salvation. Ephesians 2:8-10 says “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

I know you’re like well Destaynee, I know this stuff why are you telling us stuff we know.

Well today as I was driving from work, I was wondering why am I here (at this job). God revealed to me why before, but today he revealed to me a bigger part of the picture. This whole time I was thinking I was only there to be a light in a (very) dark place. As we are, we are to be a light; we are also to be the salt. I admit I have gotten so weary, and exhausted spiritually because of the battle I’m in. Talk about being on the front line in war. We are ALL at war, Christian or not, you are on the battle field in this war who’s side are you on? For the Child of God Ephesians 6:12 says “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” –Trayvon Martin’s mom was right pertaining to the murder of her son when she said “this isn’t a black and white thing”, no it’s not, its classic good verse evil. We get caught up in the package that the evil is presented in; so we’ve created stereotypes and prejudices and so we find ourselves going against a certain race, certain groups of people, when this war has always been good verse evil. I think as Christian’s we need to be reminded of that, especially with the recent events that have occurred. We can’t become ignorant like some; we have to recognize it for what it is. Evil is evil, it doesn’t come in one particular race, but it’s out there, and when you see it act accordingly like a Christian, and pray!-

So I asked God why I’m I in a place that is spiritually exhausting, discouraging, I’m disrespected not only by customers, but by the people I work with, why must I be subjected to this. Then I remembered the scripture I was led to this morning Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Many people (even seasoned Christians) forget that in order to be glorified with Christ, we are going to suffer like Christ. We might not be literally nailed to a cross, but we might be beaten and whipped with harsh words, physical violence, we might be betrayed by loved ones, we might be put on trial by those that hate us. No we aren’t Jesus Christ, but that fact that we follow him, live for him and love him is going to bring a lot of strife from those in the world. Evil doers didn’t like Jesus, what makes us silly to believe they will like us?  The world screams they want world peace, but when a child of God tries to spread the peace they have from God, they reject it. The irony.

God also revealed to me the things I’m experiencing are to make me a better Christian, to help me become more Christ like. It’s easy for Christians to be Christ like on Sunday morning, when Pastor is going in on his sermon, and the musicians are ushering in the spirit like never before. It’s easy to be Christ like, in the home when it’s just you and God having a conversation. It’s easy to be Christ like via the internet where nobody REALLY knows the lifestyle your living. It’s easy to be Christ like when you’re saying grace at thanks giving. But when you’re out in the world, dealing with the people of the world, the systems of the world, the concepts of the world, that’s when our Christianity is put to the test. Are you really practicing what you’re preaching when you’re facing the evil of this world? My job has taught me so much, not only about myself but about the tests of the spirit. Dying to yourself daily, isn’t just something we say, it’s something we HAVE to do. As long as you’re on this earth as a child of God, your spirit will be put to the test. Are you going to walk in the spirit, or walk in the flesh? These tests help us see whether or not we are bearing the fruit of the spirit. Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."

This is why we have to allow God to transform us. When I tell people how I used to be, they never believe it. I had a slick mouth; I could destroy someone’s feelings in one sentence. But I have a redeemer named Jesus Christ. I have a God that loves me so much he’s taken the time to renew my mind my spirit and transform me. I’ve been delivered from my old self, but I have to guard my heart still. Yes I still get angry, but I know I could NEVER allow myself to get angry enough to want to hurt someone with my words (I’m so far from the person I used to be), so when situations like that arise, I remove myself from the situation, or I tell my flesh to have ALL the seats and walk in the spirit. It’s not always easy but times like this shows how set apart from the world we really are. Times like these show us whose side are we really on. It also takes humbling yourself to be able to walk away or to react accordingly. A lot of times people are so prideful and they don’t want to be “shined” on, well Jesus was very humble, we must also humble ourselves.

I just wanted to encourage someone that might be in a situation that is very discouraging and very trying and testing of your faith. You’re not alone! I’m rocking with you, and we will get through this. Understand that there really is a reason for everything. Don’t be afraid to ask God the reason and purpose behind the reason why you might be at a certain job, or in a certain living situation or financial situation or whatever the case maybe. I ask God why I’m in situations because I don’t want to miss the lesson, I’m supposed to be learning and I don’t want to miss what he has me there to do. There is nothing wrong with asking God questions.

Just know that sometimes the things we are facing or experiencing are helping us become more Christ like. Every day, somewhere someone on Christian twitter tweets “I wanna be more like you God, I wanna be more Christ like” Understand that you are going to be put to the test. Your fruits will definitely be revealed, and if you are lacking in a certain area God will reveal it to you. Make sure you are humble enough to receive the correction.

This Christian journey is fun, but its work. I love when God takes the time to reveal things to us, so that we can see it with our spiritual eyes and not our carnal eye’s. Once he does that, we can pray accordingly, we can react and move accordingly. God truly does give us everything we need in this spiritual battle; we just have to use it properly!

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee

We still have decisions to make

How silly am I to forget that as a Christian I have free will! God has given us the ability to make decisions as a human being, now whether those decisions are godly or not are something else. We were given free will because even at our birth, God could’ve made us believe in him, made us accept Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and savior, but he didn’t. God allowed US to make that decision for ourselves. No-one is a Christian by force that is a decision that one had to make for themselves. Every day we make decisions to either try to be as Christ like as possible or to give in to our flesh. We make a choice to follow after Christ, or hold hands and walk with Satan. It’s pretty black and white, either you do or you don’t. So when it comes to dating, “courting” or marriage why don’t we see it as a decision?

I think I’ve possibly been looking at Christian relationships the wrong way. I just always assumed if it was in God’s will for me to be married, he would send my husband; I never knew I had to choose. I thought he would just stand out in a crowd and I would “know” who he was.

I just read a blog post about marriage,(The girls name was Hannah, can’t remember the blog name or site)  and it dawned on me, no matter how long I don't “date”, or no matter how many times I say "No randoms"... I still have to choose the person I want to be with. That might sound like a no brain er , but for me and other people out here, we thought that the man God had for us was just going appear and we'd live happily ever after. Ladies, gents we still have to CHOOSE, the person we want to be with.

The other day, I asked a guy on twitter, what he considers as pursuing a woman. He said “I gave that to God” I said: Even when God sends you a person, you will still have to make the effort to pursue them, he isn’t going send someone and you all are going to just run off and get married, you have to make a decision to pursue or not.

Just as God doesn't force us to live a Christian lifestyle, he isn't going to force us to marry "the one”. We have free will!! (Because God equipped us with the ability to make decisions)  We love to bring up Boaz, he STILL had to choose Ruth, and Ruth still had to choose (even though she was told to go to him) to be in the right position to be noticed by Boaz.

Life is ALL about decisions, choosing what to do.

Yes because God is all knowing he knows who we are going to marry who we are going to reject, ignore turn down etc, he knows it all before we even think it, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to FORCE it on us.

But how do we choose who to marry? Do we make a laundry list of "wants" and "needs" in a spouse? Do we set unattainable godly standards? Do we let other "success" stories romanticize our reality? Or are we going to pray for discernment when we make these choices?

I believe what happens in the Christian "dating world" is we set standards for our men and women to meet, they have to be a minister, a preacher, youth leader, she has to teach bible study, she has to be involved in ALL ministries at church, but isn't that just going after a person for what they’re doing? Are we "dating" people because of their gifts? Because God has given them such an anointing and we want some of it to overflow into our lives? Are we really just dating like the world (Instead of using people for sex and money, we're using them for their gifts, their name, their titles, their wisdom, their potential ministries and spiritual power)

Before dinner with friends 7/19/13

Yes it would be so dope to use each other’s gifts and minister as a couple, but are you just using them for that solely for that? It’s nice to be noticed for your spiritual gifts, but when people start praising YOU more for them, than they do God, watch out! They could be using you for your gifts. (ask me how I know -_-)

At the end of the day we have to stop over spiritualizing certain things. Maybe we over spiritualize dating!(Maybe that's why "dating" isn't addressed in the bible) Now I do believe the bible when it says to be equally yoked, which is a non-negotiable! That's word. But are we missing out on “the one" because we haven't chosen to take that step, and we are waiting on some man or woman to come through the fog of our life and sweep us off our feet?

I’ve had sisters in Christ tell me they “know” who their husband is, yet they don’t even have a friendship with them. Understand your spirit as a Christian, is going to be drawn to other Christians. You’re still human you’re still going to be attracted to people of the opposite sex; you’re still going to have things in common with other people that’s just how we were created. Please don’t set your hopes on your emotionalism, just because your drawn to a man/woman doesn’t automatically make them your husband/wife. Just because they meet all the qualities you’ve been praying for in a spouse does NOT mean they are your husband/wife. I can’t keep track of how many times someone TOLD me they were my husband, let alone the many times God “told them” I was their wife. Surely it’s flattering but I still have a choice to make!

Love isn’t just a feeling that comes over a person, it’s an action. Love is a choice, you have to choose to love someone, and you have to WANT to love someone. Just as God so loved the world he sent is ONLY begotten son to die for us. God made a choice; he didn’t have to send Jesus. Jesus didn’t have to get on that cross, but I’m so glad he did. Jesus chose to get on the cross and allow himself to die because he loved us! Isn’t love still the same way? Has love changed? No! 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says “Charity sufferth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vauneth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” Love is described using action words. It’s not a feeling that comes over us. No one “falls in love”, we allow our guards to be lowered and we LET someone into our hearts, we are choosing to love.

In no way am I promoting useless dating, or relationship hopping. I'm just sharing this major revelation I just had. We have free will. We have to CHOOSE who we want to be with and who we don't want to be with. God is NOT going to force a man or a woman on us to date or marry; we STILL have to make that choice and that first step!

Let’s stop looking at other people’s relationship stories and thinking that is going to happen for us in that same way. I know for me I look up to some of our married sisters and brothers in Christ, and their love stories are amazing, but we have to get off their stories and look at ours. God has a different plan for each and every one of us. Don’t get discouraged if your story isn’t looking like so and so’s! Praise God, because he is getting the glory in another way and it’s going to give hope and encouragement to other people.

Faith without works is dead; if we are trying to emulate someone else’s love story is that really faith? No we have to trust God. If this is what we want, then we have to pray, listen, discern then take those steps in faith.

I was so encouraged by this conversation and revelation with God. Not only does this relate to relationships, but if can relate to other area’s in our life. Yes we want certain things but if we are making certain decisions and exercising our faith how will we ever obtain them? Yes understand Thy will, WILL be done, but even while we are moving in God’s will we will have to make decisions!

Let’s do away with the unattainable standards, let’s do away with the emotionalism of love and dating, if we want to do this, let’s make that decision, let’s get to work. A relationship isn’t going to happen overnight. If you’re interested in someone and you are whole and content with Christ, they’re a Christian what are we waiting for? Things won’t happen unless you make them happen. It’s okay to accept an invitation to go out on a date.(NOW ALL invitations, aren’t sincere, if you KNOW that person’s intentions aren’t good then don’t bother, use your discernment people!) It’s okay to get to know more about someone, no harm in that. You won’t know until you try. (If you’re unsure, always take it to God. Yes even God cares about how you feel and your decisions towards relationships, talk to him!)

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee

If everyone thinks I'm so great, why am I still single?

Have you ever wondered why you’re single? Have you ever wondered why some men (or women) have recognized how great of a person you are, and why some haven’t?  Now I need for people to be real with themselves. Have you ever asked God a question and allowed him to search your heart, and reveal to you the answer?

 A lot of Christian women and men like to give the same cookie cutter answer to the why are you single question. We say “I can’t settle because I have a great calling on my life, I can’t be with just anybody”. While that is VERY true, but have you looked beyond that? We ALL have great callings on our lives, I won’t say some or more important than others, because any calling in the kingdom of God is important, but many are called and few are chosen. There’s a chosen few that is going to be asked to go places and do things that the called aren’t able to do. God does the calling and choosing not man. With that being said it is VERY important that you involve yourself with the person that is fit for you and the calling on your life. I don’t believe the person God has for you will have a calling that is going to cause interference with what you are called to do.

As I’m enjoying my day off, writing to God and listening to music, I asked him a question. The question sparked from an amazing message I receive last night. My question was, if I’m so great, why am I still single? As I poured my heart and my thoughts and feelings to Christ, I was led to listen to “Walk on Water” by Mali Music. (The song is basically about staying focused on Christ)

Behind every black man or boy, is a strong black praying women. #SaveOurSons me and my son before church 7.14.13

Now I know staying focused on Christ will never be an issue with a Christian right? We go hard for Christ 24/7 we let nothing get in the way of him; we let nothing come before him. -___-   If you’re real with yourself you know that is not ALWAYS true. Even as Christians we have our moments where life comes in and distracts us from what we know about Christ. Tragedies happen and we get distracted from the mission at hand. Even if that distraction is for a moment, it’s STILL a distraction, and for a moment we have taken our eyes off of Christ. What does this have to do with being single? Glad you asked. IF we allow it, our singleness CAN become a distraction. We can lose sight of what we are to be doing for God and learning from God IN this season of singleness.

  Don’t be distracted by the blessing of receiving a spouse, that you don’t have the space to receive them. Yes God is a giver to those that do good works, but understand these blessings are predestined. It’s already done; you” joining” a ministry to prove you’re dedication to Christ isn’t going to make him send you your spouse any sooner. Remember we serve an omniscient God, you can’t trick him. He knows your motive for the things that you do. Are your motives pure when serving God? Or are you just seeking him halfheartedly so you can receive a blessing, or better yet your spouse? If you knew when God was going to send you a spouse would your worship change afterwards? Are we as Christians so focused on receiving blessings that we do the bare minimum? Are we doing just enough to get by? Please understand that God is not fooled by false worship. He knows who is living for him and who is fronting. He knows who is seeking his heart, and not just his hand. Maybe that’s why some of us are single; we aren’t seeking God with our whole heart. Maybe we are seeking God but we are too focused on the potential blessings that we can’t properly move in worship. Sometimes God has to keep us here, in certain seasons so we won’t “get what we came for” and leave. God is NOT a personal Ginny, worship is a lifestyle and it should be real, not based on what you can get, or who you can marry.

Have you already put your spouse before God? Remember we serve a jealous God. Nothing or no-one shall come before him. Have you already idolized your future husband/wife? I pray for my future husband not every day (don’t tell him lol) but are we praying to the point that we are idolizing and worshipping a person we may not even know?  If you are ask God to forgive you and redirect your focus back on him.

There could be a multitude of reasons why I’m single, why you’re single, we won’t know until we go to God and ask him. Go before God humbly and ask him. Maybe there is something during this season that you are missing, and you will be here until you get it. Maybe God isn’t finished preparing you. You might be great now, but what if God wants to make you more awesome than you are. Maybe your spouse isn’t finished being prepared? We should be whole before we get into relationships; maybe God is still working on making your spouse whole. Maybe it’s just not time! You might feel you’re ready, but there are SO many other factors that could play a part. Maybe God is waiting on you to get serious about ministry; maybe God is waiting for you to start a ministry.

Who knows, but If you want to know ask God. Know that when you’re asking God something be prepared for conviction. If you REALLY want to know allow God to search your heart and reveal to you, the not so great things about you. Let him reveal to you the things you may need changing. Don’t choose to be ignorant; God corrects those he loves, allow him to show you the error of your ways, so that you can really be the best you. You might not get the answer right away, you might not get the answer you want, but if you believe you will receive it. Be still and ALLOW God to answer you. (Often times we ask God questions, but we don’t wait for his answer. Be still before the Lord.)

Single Christians; let’s stop treating our season of singleness as a disease. We are amazing people, but let’s be amazing people after God’s own heart. Let’s stop going through the motions, and saying what sounds good, and doing what looks good. If you have an issue with being single, take it to Christ. Cast your cares on the Lord because he cares for you, even pertaining to this. Stop acting like your content when you aren’t. Lying to yourself is NOT going to make this season go by faster, or make it any easier, be real with yourself and with God.

 Single Christians that are content in our singleness, stop coming down hard are those that aren’t content. Acting as if you were never in a state of discontentment is not helping the issue either. Encourage that brother or sister; don’t come down hard on them, because you have been there once before.

Single Christian’s we are valuable to ministry, don’t even think your marital status defines you, or what you’re able to do for God. God can use you just like he can use a married person. Don’t get discouraged; use this time to learn more about yourself and more about God. Ask God what he wants you to do. Let’s make sure we are abandoning our will and taking on his. Know that even in this season of singleness God will be glorified.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Signed,

Single and still awesome

Destaynee

I know my worth.... but do I think I'm pretty?

All my life I’ve been criticized to a certain degree about my appearance. I’ve gotten pretty much every mean joke said to me. I’ve gotten all the half way compliments. “You’re cute… for a dark skin girl” these compliments aren’t just from people of other races, but from black people as well. Recently I’ve been getting compliments and half way compliments from my brothers in Christ ,lots of nice things being said, a few not so nice things. I had someone tell me, they loved “everything” about me, but they had a hard time dealing with the fact that I’m dark skin or the fact that I wear my natural God given hair. Honestly at first it hurt my feelings. The one thing I can’t change about myself, someone doesn’t like. Then I got over it and got inspired by it. Yes I’am dark skin, there is nothing I can do about it. One thing I do know, the man God has for me will appreciate the fact God gave me the complexion he did.

I was inspired by the comment, because it sparked an idea in my head. “I know my worth but do I think I’m pretty”? I’ve spent countless nights reading the bible, searching for scriptures to find my worth. I’ve searched to see how God felt about me, what he thinks of me, how valuable I am to him as his child and how much he loves me. Growing up with massive self-esteem issues (being dark skinned, having braces, being called “too skinny”, it was beyond overdue for me to really find my worth. I know how much God loves me and how I can’t settle for less (in relationships, friendships, anything) Finding my worth in Christ has been one of the best things I could’ve done, not only for me personally, but for my relationship with Christ. Just like in a relationship between 2 people, you want to know how the other person feels about you too. I knew how I felt about God, it was up to me to find AND accept how he felt about me. (Don’t let your past confuse you and make you think you aren’t worthy of God’s love. Romans 8:39 says Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creation, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.) You have to BELIEVE how much God really loves you.

So now that I now that I know my worth in Christ, I’m living for him, I’ve been delivered, I’ve been transformed, I’ve truly repented from my sins, but how do I feel about myself, my appearance? The media does a GREAT job, at trying to tell us how to look. Stereotypes and strong holds have been passed down from generation to generation. (The whole light skin, dark skin thing) Not only does this effects women, but it also effects the men. Women have this standard of beauty that they are expected to uphold which is quite unreasonable. We’re expected to be a certain complexion, with a certain hair texture, all while maintaining a certain body type. So we have women that WANT to be cookie cutter images of other women, forgetting that we are God’s finger print. We’re created in HIS image. Genesis 1:27 says “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Now No God isn’t human he doesn’t have bones, or a complexion. Made in his imagine meaning we have attributes (fruits of the spirit) that he has, but not all. As it pertains to the way we look, I do believe God gave us what he thought was good for us (Number one reason why I am natural, God gave it to me because he thought it was beautiful.) We are his creation, don’t let what the media, or what other people have to say about it stop you from embracing what God himself gave you. Being more than conquerors is being able to conquer everything, including self-esteem issues, or minor biases’ that people may have.

Being confident in Christ and his power is being confident in whom he created you to be, and the package you came in. God makes no mistakes; he made no mistake giving you your complexion, your hair texture, your body shape, the way you speak, the way your smile is, your moles. He made no mistakes because God cannot fail. If you or anyone has an issue with how God created you to be, take them up with God. He is the creator of all things.

If a person can’t accept you for who you are, be confident enough in God to know that he has created someone that will cherish you the way your spouse should. Don’t settle for poor treatment and negative commentary about who you are from anyone. Beauty starts from within, and if they aren’t even willing to see the beauty from within because of the outside packaging, don’t waste your time. People have to realize flesh and blood isn’t that important (spiritual warfare), the battles we fight aren’t even about flesh and blood, so how are we going to let it stop us from seeing the spirit from within a person? That is kind of hypocritical, don’t be a hypocrite!!!

7/10/13 No make-up,day 2 wash N go. I'f I can't accept me in my natural state, how can I expect anyone else to.

This commentary, I’ve been experiencing the past few months has sparked an idea. Past few weeks I’ve gone without make up. (Not that I wear a lot, I’m fairly new to the make- up world, all I wear is a little foundation, mascara, and lipstick) I’ve been wearing my hair in a bun.( I NEVER wore my hair up, because I was afraid everyone would see my imperfections and focus in on them, it’s easy to hide behind big curly hair.) Now I know make up is an enhancer, make up cannot make a person prettier than what they already are. Make up just enhances what a person already has. I want to truly embrace myself without those enhancements. I want to be okay with every freckle, mole and whatever else I may have.  I’ve embraced my natural hair; I’ve embraced the shrinkage, the frizz, the puffiness, and the wonderful versatility, now it’s time to fully embrace what God has given me. I won’t be able to embrace it, if I’m covering up my “flaws”. I won’t even call them flaws; they are characteristics, things that make me unique in my own right.

Know your worth, and know that God gave you the things he feels are best for you. He makes NO mistakes!

Stop comparing yourself to to other men or women. Stop allowing people to compare you to other people. Embrace who you are and demand that people embrace who you are. If they can’t accept you, Keep calm and Move along.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Signed,

A girl that knows her worth, and knows she’s pretty

-Destaynee

Friends, How many of us have them?

Today I was quickly reminded that when God closes a door, we need to leave it closed. I often talk about relationships needing to have purpose, but ultimately friendships are a form of relationship and they too need to have a purpose. Just like with romantic relationships, once that season is over it’s over. When we do things that are not in the right season, they are outside of God’s will, which will cause mess and chaos. God is not going to bless mess; he is not the author of it. (Although when we do step out of God’s will his grace is still sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9 and he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather boast in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.), but I wouldn’t recommend purposely stepping outside his will to test his grace. God is not to be tested)

-This is me and my bestfriend Samantha we were like 15 or 16 (about 7/8 years ago) in this picture, back when I was in Virginia, and when I first went Natural-
Disclaimer this blog has NOTHING to do with her or anyone in particular , I love her :) just wanted to use this picture .

Have you ever had a friendship with someone that was so unlike any other friendship you’ve ever had, (an unspeakable bond) but something happened and caused a major rift between the two of you? I’m sure we’ve all had friendships that are no longer there or the way we would like them to be because of something. Have you ever thought maybe that friendship had to end because that season in your life is over? Or maybe you were giving more attention to that friendship than you were giving to your relationship with God? Dueteronomy 6:15 shows us how jealous God is of us. (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.) Now I don’t know about you, but I’m too afraid of God to have ANY relationship come before him to the point where he is jealous.

It’s very important that while in or before we enter into friendships or relationships we ask God what the purpose for it is. Everything we do has a purpose, and since this life is about God, worshipping him and the building of his kingdom we had to fulfill those purposes. I don’t ever want to be in someone’s life and don’t know the purpose. We have to know these things, because someone might be an assignment, not a friend that you hold onto for life. Holding on to people outside their season, can either hinder you or hinder them in their growth with God. Nobody wants to get in the way of a person’s personal growth with God, at least not me. Be careful that these “friends” that are in your life, aren’t leaning on you as a crutch.  

-Me and Dria a few weeks ago-

A wise man of God told me I had to “know the difference between ministry and friendship.” Everyone you minister too is NOT supposed to nor are they going to be your friend. (And vice versa) We can’t let our feelings or emotions get in the way of what the main objective is. I know personally, on this journey, living a life after God’s heart, can be lonely. So when we come across believers that even WANT to talk about God, we tend to hold onto them. Just like every Christian man/woman is not your spouse… every Christian you come across isn’t going to be in your life as a friend and that is fine. We have to be okay with going it alone sometimes. Now I’m not saying purposely make yourself a loner, I’m not saying don’t be friendly. I’m not saying NONE of that.(let’s keep it in context) We have to real with ourselves and other people, everyone that comes into your life is NOT supposed to stay in your life. If a person is not growing with you, they can’t GO with you. If a person is not moving toward Christ, they need to go on with their life. Just as we have to guard our heart from sin, we have to guard our heart from unhealthy friendships, or holding on to people that are out of season.

I believe Luke 11:9(And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.) If we make our requests known to God I believe he will give them according to his will. Ask God for godly friends, but be prepared for when he reveals to you those that aren’t what you’re asking for. Often times we ask God for things, but we don’t let go of the old and wonder why there’s a problem. If only we could get out of the way and, stop hindering ourselves.

God is in control, we have to trust him enough to believe he knows what he is doing, and allow him to do it. Stop being a hindrance to your own well-being. Moving forward into a new season, means letting go of those from the old season. Close the door and don't look back.

Looking back will cost you, just ask Lot’s wife

At the end of the day, if Jesus is the only friend you have, then that's all the friends you need. Jesus really is everything we need and so much more. Don't get caught up on friendships with human, that you neglect the most important one. The one with Jesus Christ.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Goodnight

-Check out This song by my homie Troy Jenkins, "Friend" Love this guy love this song.-

Destaynee

Are you guarding your heart?

“Guard your heart” is a phrase that I use ALL the time, especially when it comes to talking to men and women pertaining relationships, sin, negativity etc.  In my very vivid imagination I have a bank door around my heart with guards standing in front of it lol

Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) says” Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” The NIV says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

That verse speaks on the things that flow out of our heart, but what about the things we allow into our heart? Eventually the things we allow IN our heart will flow OUT of it. So how do we “Guard our heart”?

I always say “the things you water will grow”. The things you focus on will become bigger than they really are. We have to be careful of the things we focus on.

I’ll use singleness as an example. Me being a single woman, I have to guard my heart from certain things and people. I can’t allow myself to get too wrapped up in the fact that I’m single, so certain shows or movies I don’t watch so I won’t “get in my feelings”. I don’t feed myself “loneliness”, or my singleness. Although I LOVE movies, about love and weddings, sometimes I can’t watch it because I know it will feed my emotions. I can’t allow my emotions to rule over what I know as the facts. Fact is Yes, I’m single, but nothing is wrong with that, and God has someone special for me, if I just trust him and keep my focus on him. Whenever I feel myself “getting” in my feelings I have to “feed” myself word. I have to encourage myself. Guard my heart!

Love and marriage aren’t the only things we have to guard our hearts from. We have to guard our hearts from sinful things. As children of God living is this world sinful image’s and things are EVERYWHERE. Television and internet have made sin so accessible. What do we do? We can’t get in a rocket ship and fly out of here (though we may want to at times). We have to guard our hearts, especially from the things we deal with personally. One person’s conviction is not the next person’s conviction. One person may struggle with this sin; the other person might struggle with that. (Although No sin is greater than the other, besides blasphemy, sin is sin and we all have different ones we may struggle with)

There’s a show on MTV called catfish. (I watch occasionally because it’s amazing to me that people are STILL being cat fished with ALL this technology.) I had a Christian on twitter DM me, telling me I was wrong for watching that show because  the people on the show were gay ( they didn’t “do” any gay acts on the show) the person DM’ing me had an issue because they were battling with homosexuality. I explained to them that homosexuality is no something I have ever battled with and I felt no conviction for watching the show. (Christians please understand, though we have Christ in common, EVERYTHING we do will not be things we agree on, and that is fine) - When I watch that show I feel bad for the people because there is an underlying hurt within that needs to be addressed, and at the end of the show I usually tweet about it and how we should be praying for these hurt people and not laughing etc. Sometimes we as Christians need to know what’s going on in the world, so we can minister accordingly- I encouraged the person that DM’d me to guard their heart! If homosexuality is something they are battling with, they shouldn’t watch shows that talk about it, shows that promote it, shouldn’t go to places or hang around people that are living that life style. You have to learn how to guard your heart, protect yourself from the things that YOU battle with, within yourself.

Same thing goes for lust. If you KNOW that lust is an issue with you, stop blaming the sista’s/fella’s at church, and take on responsibility, what are YOU feeding  your lustful spirit that is helping this lust grow? What shows are you watching? What songs are you listening too? What is your screen saver on your lap top? You need to guard your heart! Yes temptation is everyone, but with EVERY temptation there is an escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

Sometimes the escape comes before the temptation, sometimes you have to guard yourself from the temptation. Now if your PURSUING sin, you’re making a choice to sin, you won’t be able to see the escape because your focus is on the sin. We you feed yourself something enough, you get used to it, and you start to crave it and expect it. Guard your heart!

This also applies to negativity. You can’t allow just anybody to speak into your life yet alone speak over your life. You have to be able to discern what you should receive from certain people. That is why you must know God for yourself. Anyone can say “God said” and make you do or believe what they want you to believe. You need to know God for yourself, and pray about the situation. False prophets are real. Mean people are real! Guard your heart!

Guarding your heart is something you have to WANT to do. You have to want to protect your heart, your emotions and your spirit from things that might harm you. You have to actively make steps toward doing it. You can’t just pursue sin and say “Lord guard my heart”. God doesn’t force himself on anyone; you have to WANT to do it. God can’t do something you’re not allowing him to do. Allow God to show you the area’s in your life which you need to guard. Once you know the areas, ask God HOW to do it. You’re going to have to tell your flesh to have a seat because it might not agree, but it’s worth it. Guarding your heart from potential heart breaks and sin is so worth it. It allows you to be free and available to God.

I encourage you all to guard your heart. Protect yourself from sin, distractions and negativity. Protect yourself from ANYTHING that will make you weary on this journey (including people). Sacrificing a little should be no big deal compared to the ultimate sacrifice God did. He sent is ONLY begotten son, to die on a cross that should’ve been for us. The very least we can do is live for him. Don’t just be a pew sitter, but let’s make steps to being holy and acceptable in his sight. Let’s make the decision to be Doers of the word and not just hearers’. Let’s Guard our hearts!!

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Sincerely,

The girl with the guarded heart. 

Destaynee