“I love everything
about you….. Except the fact that you’re dark skinned”.
These were the words
that came from a black Christian man, to me. Not only was he my “brotha”, but
he was my brother in Christ. I wonder if he missed the part in the bible were
it says, “Love thy neighbor, as you love thy self” If you hate my dark skin,
how do you feel about yourself? Stop disguising your prejudice as preference; I
know what this is about.
I’m so proud Lupita
Nyong’o won the Oscars. Finally someone that looks like me! She doesn’t have
extensions, but she’s rocking her short natural hair proudly. She’s not wearing
make-up 5 shades lighter to change the appearance of her skin complexion. She
doesn’t have implants or a butt lift. Her appearance defies everything America
views as “beautiful”. What you deem as “bad”. What we were taught was appealing.
Quite frankly that’s just so sad. Lupita is gorgeous and so is anyone that can
relate to her.
India Arie has a song
that says “I ‘am not my hair, I ‘am not my skin”. However, that’s all I ‘am to
those not willing to see what’s within.
When you see me what
do you think? Wait, let me guess… too black, bushy hair, probably has an
attitude, uneducated and probably swears? When can I speak my mind without it
being viewed as an attitude? When can I speak my mind without being viewed as
an “angry” black woman? Though our voices have been stifled before, we have
thoughts and opinions that need to be heard.
When will you
understand that we represent your sister, your mother, your great grands and
all your ancestors! We matter now, just as they mattered then. Stand-up be a man;
stop allowing new age slavery, prejudice, and racism to consume your heart
within.
The way you treat us….this
treatment we receive is detrimental, and it kills the self-esteem. We’re in
this together, fighting to be valued in America. We should build each other up,
not tear each other down! Stop disguising your prejudice as preference! We know
what’s going on.
Now I know what you’re
saying “It’s your fault for looking to man for validation”. I’m not looking to
man for validation. My value comes from Christ; I’m just tired of being insulted
in your attempt to compliment me by saying “you’re pretty to be dark skin”.
Saying “I never liked dark skinned girls, but you’re different” will no longer
suffice. It doesn’t make me feel special; it just shows your ignorance. Stop
disguising your prejudice as preference. I know what it’s about.
You fall victim to
the same thing that got me. America home of the beautiful, never really applied
to me. Generational arguments of “oh no girl, you’re blacker than me”. Seeing
family members insult one another using the same term, the same word, the same
adjective, we put a check next to when filling out paper work. Black!!
No-one is perfect,
and we all need work, but could we please move forward, not backwards regarding
us. We have to undo the brainwashing that was done to us. Ignore the media and
be an advocate for us. Protect our minds from biased injustice stereotypes.
Educate and encourage the next generation, but in the meantime, and in between
time, do us and yourself a favor. Stop disguising your prejudice as preference.
We know what it’s about!!!
If you love someone
tell them.
I love you
Signed, your equally beautiful sista
Destaynee
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