If everyone thinks I'm so great, why am I still single?

Have you ever wondered why you’re single? Have you ever wondered why some men (or women) have recognized how great of a person you are, and why some haven’t?  Now I need for people to be real with themselves. Have you ever asked God a question and allowed him to search your heart, and reveal to you the answer?

 A lot of Christian women and men like to give the same cookie cutter answer to the why are you single question. We say “I can’t settle because I have a great calling on my life, I can’t be with just anybody”. While that is VERY true, but have you looked beyond that? We ALL have great callings on our lives, I won’t say some or more important than others, because any calling in the kingdom of God is important, but many are called and few are chosen. There’s a chosen few that is going to be asked to go places and do things that the called aren’t able to do. God does the calling and choosing not man. With that being said it is VERY important that you involve yourself with the person that is fit for you and the calling on your life. I don’t believe the person God has for you will have a calling that is going to cause interference with what you are called to do.

As I’m enjoying my day off, writing to God and listening to music, I asked him a question. The question sparked from an amazing message I receive last night. My question was, if I’m so great, why am I still single? As I poured my heart and my thoughts and feelings to Christ, I was led to listen to “Walk on Water” by Mali Music. (The song is basically about staying focused on Christ)

Behind every black man or boy, is a strong black praying women. #SaveOurSons me and my son before church 7.14.13

Now I know staying focused on Christ will never be an issue with a Christian right? We go hard for Christ 24/7 we let nothing get in the way of him; we let nothing come before him. -___-   If you’re real with yourself you know that is not ALWAYS true. Even as Christians we have our moments where life comes in and distracts us from what we know about Christ. Tragedies happen and we get distracted from the mission at hand. Even if that distraction is for a moment, it’s STILL a distraction, and for a moment we have taken our eyes off of Christ. What does this have to do with being single? Glad you asked. IF we allow it, our singleness CAN become a distraction. We can lose sight of what we are to be doing for God and learning from God IN this season of singleness.

  Don’t be distracted by the blessing of receiving a spouse, that you don’t have the space to receive them. Yes God is a giver to those that do good works, but understand these blessings are predestined. It’s already done; you” joining” a ministry to prove you’re dedication to Christ isn’t going to make him send you your spouse any sooner. Remember we serve an omniscient God, you can’t trick him. He knows your motive for the things that you do. Are your motives pure when serving God? Or are you just seeking him halfheartedly so you can receive a blessing, or better yet your spouse? If you knew when God was going to send you a spouse would your worship change afterwards? Are we as Christians so focused on receiving blessings that we do the bare minimum? Are we doing just enough to get by? Please understand that God is not fooled by false worship. He knows who is living for him and who is fronting. He knows who is seeking his heart, and not just his hand. Maybe that’s why some of us are single; we aren’t seeking God with our whole heart. Maybe we are seeking God but we are too focused on the potential blessings that we can’t properly move in worship. Sometimes God has to keep us here, in certain seasons so we won’t “get what we came for” and leave. God is NOT a personal Ginny, worship is a lifestyle and it should be real, not based on what you can get, or who you can marry.

Have you already put your spouse before God? Remember we serve a jealous God. Nothing or no-one shall come before him. Have you already idolized your future husband/wife? I pray for my future husband not every day (don’t tell him lol) but are we praying to the point that we are idolizing and worshipping a person we may not even know?  If you are ask God to forgive you and redirect your focus back on him.

There could be a multitude of reasons why I’m single, why you’re single, we won’t know until we go to God and ask him. Go before God humbly and ask him. Maybe there is something during this season that you are missing, and you will be here until you get it. Maybe God isn’t finished preparing you. You might be great now, but what if God wants to make you more awesome than you are. Maybe your spouse isn’t finished being prepared? We should be whole before we get into relationships; maybe God is still working on making your spouse whole. Maybe it’s just not time! You might feel you’re ready, but there are SO many other factors that could play a part. Maybe God is waiting on you to get serious about ministry; maybe God is waiting for you to start a ministry.

Who knows, but If you want to know ask God. Know that when you’re asking God something be prepared for conviction. If you REALLY want to know allow God to search your heart and reveal to you, the not so great things about you. Let him reveal to you the things you may need changing. Don’t choose to be ignorant; God corrects those he loves, allow him to show you the error of your ways, so that you can really be the best you. You might not get the answer right away, you might not get the answer you want, but if you believe you will receive it. Be still and ALLOW God to answer you. (Often times we ask God questions, but we don’t wait for his answer. Be still before the Lord.)

Single Christians; let’s stop treating our season of singleness as a disease. We are amazing people, but let’s be amazing people after God’s own heart. Let’s stop going through the motions, and saying what sounds good, and doing what looks good. If you have an issue with being single, take it to Christ. Cast your cares on the Lord because he cares for you, even pertaining to this. Stop acting like your content when you aren’t. Lying to yourself is NOT going to make this season go by faster, or make it any easier, be real with yourself and with God.

 Single Christians that are content in our singleness, stop coming down hard are those that aren’t content. Acting as if you were never in a state of discontentment is not helping the issue either. Encourage that brother or sister; don’t come down hard on them, because you have been there once before.

Single Christian’s we are valuable to ministry, don’t even think your marital status defines you, or what you’re able to do for God. God can use you just like he can use a married person. Don’t get discouraged; use this time to learn more about yourself and more about God. Ask God what he wants you to do. Let’s make sure we are abandoning our will and taking on his. Know that even in this season of singleness God will be glorified.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Signed,

Single and still awesome

Destaynee