My worst date EVER!!

I’ve made reference to “my worst date ever” many times. I suppose it’s time to share it being that it happened a year ago this month.

So I got a call from a friend that I have not heard from in a while, he asked me to go to the all-star events (The NBA All Star weekend), I was like cool. We haven’t seen each other in such a while he said let’s go out to eat (a week before the all-star events) I was a tad hesitant because he was telling me what he wanted to change about my appearance for the events. He always said I looked like Kelly Rowland, so he said he would pay for me to get some weave like her, he would pay for a dress and some shoes.(I should’ve hung up the phone right then and there, but this was before I knew my worth. This was a time period when I was looking for love in ALL the wrong places. I just wanted to be accepted and loved) so I was like okay cool, I guess. I know you’re thinking well why did you go out with him. Well I met him right before I went to college, never dated never did anything we just had great conversation. We could talk about everything politics, sports, music, life, everything. I was not physically attracted to him at all, and he wasn’t saved at least from the conversations and what he told me he wasn’t. (Another huge mistake. We have to be equally yoked. We can’t date/court/marry unbelievers)

 So shortly after this conversation we planned our date. He came over (did not ring the doorbell didn’t even get out the car. Ladies this is NOT how to be treated) picked me up and we went to a Fridays. Conversation in the car was cool mostly about music, that’s back when I was a hardcore Wale fan. So in the restaurant the conversation changed to his family, to when we used to hang out with his friends, where they are all now (most of them are in jail. Yes I was hanging with a group of people that was into some very bad things. They were older than me, but they were so funny, and their lives were so different from mine, it was slightly interesting. So me and a friend would always just go for the laughs) somehow we got on the topic of how much he likes me. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable because I did not feel how he felt. He wanted me to tell him the things he was telling me, but I simply could not. So after tweeting (if any of my followers are in Altamonte come save me now!! lol) we proceeded to leave the restaurant. Somehow we started talking about the Kobe Bryant divorce situation. The conversation got so heated people walking by were staring at us because he was yelling. He opened the car door as if he was opening it for me to get in but he slammed it shut, he tried to make me kiss him and I told him no and avoided eye contact with him. Well that made things worse because he tried to grab me and hug me and I kept fighting it, because he was raging. He was mad because we didn’t agree and he said women put themselves in stupid situations, etc. (Looking back on the conversation the way he talked about women was with such disgust, that’s a red flag. We have to be careful and mindful of the things people are saying, because they will tell you who they are.) While all this was going on a group of guys were in the parking lot just looking. (I wish they would’ve come over, but that could’ve made things worse.) Finally after he realized I wasn’t gonna hug him or kiss him he got in the car and I got in. He turned the music up SO extremely loud I’m surprised the windows didn’t bust. He sped past the group of guys and continued to speed and swerve in and out of lanes the whole way home. I sat in the seat crying silently to myself, because I felt so bad that I allowed myself to be treated this way. I didn’t fully know my worth, but I knew I deserved better than this. When we finally got home he barely stopped the car for me to get out and sped off before I could make it to my front door. That very night, I vowed to never go on a date again. I couldn’t subject myself to such craziness, I felt awful. Shortly after I found out about Heather Lindsey and Pinky Promise. No Random’s EVER!! I stuck to my vow, until December 2012. So I almost went a whole year lol. In December I went on my first date in 10 months with a friend from church. It was a great date and he was an absolute gentleman. My whole purpose for dating (after I found out my worth in Christ) was for marriage. The world and the media portray dating as a sport, just to do it. I see it as a phase, you court find out if this person is for you, and  if you’re for them. That requires prayer, listening and waiting on God to show you. The next phase is marriage. Everything should have a purpose, including dating.

We have to know our worth. If you have any insecurities, any doubts about who you are or anything about you, look to the bible. Don’t look to the world to tell you or show you who you are. The world just paints false images of who you “should be”. We are in the world, but we are not of it. Our worth comes from God. It doesn’t come from what people or the world thinks about you, it’s about what God KNOWS about you. We have to grasp this concept or else we will continue to take whatever treatment people think we deserve. You have to respect yourself, love yourself before anyone else will. Know your worth, see yourself the way God see’s you.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee.