Why Im single...

"Do you want to be married?" "Do you want to have more any more kids?" "What about so and so are yall still friends? Does he have a girlfriend?" "Who do you like?"

These are just a few of the questions I get asked from my mom,sister and brother.
So I answered them.. Yes I want to be married, but on God's time and to the man God created for me. Yes I want to have more kids, maybe 2 maybe 3. I don't know because right now I can only see it from a single parent point of view, having a husband to help me raise them will be different, so maybe 4 in total...who knows! The dreaded "who do you like" questions.. ugh!! LOL It's weird I mean I'm human, yes I find some people more attractive than others, but the things that I'm attracted to have changed since I've gotten more mature spiritually. I'm extremely attracted to a man that has a heart after God's heart, a man that can pray and hear from God, and so much more!
When I was dating carnally I wasn't focused solely on looks, but I used to give guys the benefit of the doubt, oh he doesn't go to church, but I can change that. I was so fixed on thinking I could change a guy and make him be what I felt I deserved. Which is crazy you can NOT change a person. Only the holy ghost can change them. God is the husbandman(gardener) of our hearts. He's gonna take out what doesn't belong, and fill us with what we need..Before I didn't see it that way.
I mean don't get me wrong, I can still appreciate God for his creations,but I focus more on the heart of the creation than the outward.... Trust me ladies they're fine demons out there... fine men that are in the church,but aren't IN the church. Don't be blinded by the outward that you can discern the spirit that's within                       .(  Romans 12:1-2  I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. )


So while I was in the mist of my carnal dating, which included some what chasing guys, trying to convince them I was good enough...smh all that pitiful stuff. I was doing that because I didn't fully know my worth in Christ, I didn't understand how truly valuable I am to him. Yes I knew he died for my sins, I thought he was just being nice. I didn't understand it was because he loves me, he thinks I'm valuable, he thinks I'm powerful in him. Now that I understand that, there's a certain confidence I have. My God created me and saved me because I'm valuable.. How amazing! I'm his daughter! I'm joint heirs to the throne.. I'm somebody!

Now that I KNOW... what I know that I know I'm God's child, I'm a princess, I don't have business dating or courting peasants... peasants being unbelievers,or guys that aren't LIVING for Christ.. 

(2Corinthians6:14    
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? )

I know that I deserve a good God fearing man, that's abiding in Christ, not just putting on the front that he loves Christ on Sunday,but trying to sleep with me during the week.

(1 Corinthians 6:9-11         
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. )

(Galatians 5:19-21         

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. )

I deserve a man that loves God more than he would love to be with me, I need a man that loves God enough to keep his every commandment!

(John 14:15  “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.)

I know that I deserve that, and I know that that's what God will provide for me.

I don't plan on being  a lifetime girlfriend,or a "baby momma"... I know that I'm worthy of being someones wife, someone's helpmate.
(Genesis 2:18         
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” )

I also know that when I was doing relationships carnally, The guys weren't working in their purpose, therefore I wasn't needed.. Ladies understand that a man that isn't doing work.. (no not work at the construction job, not work at burger king..) I'm talking about Kingdom work. If he's not doing kingdom work you wont be needed. The Lord created us to be a helpmate to men.. That revelation hit me upside the head one day, I was like whoooa THATS why it would never work with so and so..
God is amazing, and that's what's so powerful about having a relationship with him, he gives you this little insight when you least expect, and he clarifies everything for you.. God is not the author of confusion remember that, that's what the devil is all about confusion..

So yes this is why I'm single. I'm allowing God to properly prepare me for what he has in store for me, for what he wants me to do including a man that's walking IN Christ. I'm not waiting around all lonely and what not... I'm never alone, and I'm not lonely,but I'm excited for what God has in store for my life.

If you love someone tell them
I love you
-Destaynee