SEASONAL DEPRESSION

"Wow,

Here we are again.

It felt like moments ago we were just saying goodbye.

But here you are... in my face saying "hi".

As if we're on good terms.

As if you treated me kind.

As if you deserve to be in my presence.

The nerve of you to walk in here uninvited, unannounced,

you know how much I hate that shit!

Catching me off guard, while I'm curled up in my bed watching Lifetime movies minding my business.

Although you weren't invited, I was expecting you to pull this toxic shit.

So I made sure to prepare myself.

I'm mindful of the things I watch, the music I listen to, the people I talk to and the foods I eat.

I even put up my Christmas decorations up early to combat this muscle memory of this seasonal depression."

My tribe.

Seasonal depression is very real and something a lot of people deal with. Some don't even realize it's something they deal with.

Be it the weather changes, the holidays and lack of funds, family or friends. This time of the year can be hard on some folks, and you aren't alone. I've struggled with this battle many times, but the last time, was the last time!

This "thanksgiving" (a holiday we don't celebrate) was the first in years that me and the boys didn't pack up and leave to escape. So I had to face this head on, and I think I did good. We didn't worry about the social norms, or what we were "missing out on". We spent quality time, playing games, went to the river, the park, watched movies etc.

Also, lastnight was a full moon. I set out my moon water, my crystals, we set our intentions under the moon (basically prayers, asking for what we want and believing we will receive it,) and we danced under the moonlight. We all woke up feeling refreshed, and so happy knowing that we deserve happiness in whatever capacity that means for us.

So if you too have, or should I say had the muscle memory of seasonal depression (we have to be intentional and mindful about the words we speak. There is power in our words and thoughts). I pray you find peace and joy in whatever capacity that's fitting for you. Set your intentions, say your affirmations, know that there is better out there for you and believe you are deserving of it.

If you love someone, tell them,

I love you all.

Signed,

Happy and Hopeful. ✶