There’s this guy, and for the record he’s not my guy.
I met this guy a few months ago when I moved into this new
city, I’m currently living in. My interactions with “this guy” range from twice
to once a week. The conversations between “this guy” and myself started off
quite brief. Somewhere over a course of a few months, between his “Hey, how you
doing” and my “Have a great night” a connection was made.
He’s my age, he’s a
PK (preacher’s kid) too, we share similar views regarding race, the black community
etc. Did I mention brother man is fine yea, that too! I met someone that could
turn into a really good friend or even something more. Everything seemed pretty
cool, kinda perfect. Until one day, we exchanged numbers. “This guy” didn’t hit
me up for a week, which was cool, I wasn’t pressed. However when he did hit me up,
his text said something like this:
"Look, I think about you a lot, I really
enjoy our conversations, I’m digging your style, and you’re beautiful. I would’ve
been hit you up and told you but unfortunately I have a girl. I don’t want to
put myself out there, but I kinda am”.
He said a few other sweet things, but I
was stuck at the “I have a girl part”.
-Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “Really
Des, you just gonna put “this guy” on blast?” No! I never have intentions of
putting anyone on blast, however I am a sharer of MY truths, this is what I
do.- Plus this guy knows I have much respect for him and what he does. I
appreciate him and the other guys he works with. I tell them this regularly,
they know this.-
After he dropped this news, we kind of just left any
communications to whenever we saw each other in person. We addressed boundaries
straight away. He knew he could and would fall for me and I knew I could also,
if we kept things up. I think we’ve done a great job, of respecting each other
and being cordial. Plus, I refused to be “that girl”.
Who is “that girl” you ask? “That girl” is the girl that lets
her guard down too soon. “That girl” lets her emotions get involved before her
brain can thoroughly access the situation. “That girl” usually gets hurt often
because she just wants someone to love, and she wants to be loved. “That girl”
usually finds herself being someone’s side chick or on the “Lifetime Girlfriend
program”. “That girl” is not at fault by herself, especially if she has met “this
guy”. “This guy” is very intriguing and he engages you with his charm and
intellect. Although “this guy” is in a relationship, he’s not going to violate
his relationship in a way his girlfriend would find out, but he’s going to let
you know he’s interested. “This guy” will
give you just enough to think there’s something more, but give you nothing all
at once.
From the outside looking in you could easily say “that girl”
is stupid and “this guy” is misleading. If you ever find yourself being “that
girl or “this guy” you’d be too wrapped up in your emotions and what you think
you feel to actually see the danger. You’d be too caught up on the rare
connection and the freshness that you wouldn’t know any better.
I’ve heard too many stories from “that girl” that just put “this
guy” at fault, but ladies it’s just not his fault. We have to guard our hearts,
no matter how fine “this guy” is, no matter how bright and white his smile is.
We can’t just marry guys off in our heads. (Ladies be real, you see a fine man,
or talk to a man that you find intriguing and you’ve planned your life with him
before you even know his last name.)
We can’t allow our
emotions to get involved before we even know what it really is. We have to know
our worth and exercise our knowledge! A Queen sits on her own throne, not on
the sideline in someone else’s kingdom!
You have to believe you are worth it, part of believing that
means protecting yourself from certain situations, even when you’re craving
attention.( good morning texts are overrated especially when you’re settling
just to get that text) Knowing that you deserve better and treating yourself as
such. Don’t ever catch yourself being “that girl”.
This guy, isn’t the only “this guy” that I know. I take
situations like these as tests. God is just making sure I’m “buying what I’m
selling”. He’s making sure I have faith in him and trust him to bring MY guy to
me. Anyone can say they know their worth, but what you gon do when “this guy”
comes for you?
If you love someone tell them
I love you
Signed,
a Queen sitting on
her OWN throne in her kingdom.
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