Tonight was the premiere of a seemingly popular TV show on
BET called ‘Being Mary Jane’. To be completely honest, I haven’t seen a full
episode since it aired, neither have I seen a full episode of Scandal. I have a
really hard time getting into shows like that. Shows were the main character is
a black woman, but is sleeping with someone else’s husband. I’m very sensitive
to the way black women are portrayed in movies, and on TV shows.
These shows are set up in a particular way were yes, the
main characters are doing well in their careers, but that’s it. At the end of
every day Mary Jane and Olivia Pope are glorified
side chicks!! America is constantly showing us black women, how they
feel about us. (Which hasn’t been in a good light since Clair Huxtable) America
is telling us no matter how good of a job you have, you will only be worth that
of a side chick, a jump off, second best, and a home wrecker.
I’m here to tell you Black women we are so much greater than being a “side chick”! You are so much greater than being someone’s
random call in the night; you are far
greater than what your body has to offer. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139:14
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| New Years Eve, before heading to Church |
I know someone is thinking “this girl can’t ever chill? She
always has something to say, can we live? It’s just entertainment”.
I understand that these TV shows are just for entertainment
purposes, but it is also a reflection of what is thought of us. It’s also
something that is being used to pollute our minds and the minds of young girls
and women in the next generation. This is just another way to try and oppress
our people. Understand we as adults might be able to distinguish between
reality and entertainment, but the younger viewers can’t. If you watch something long enough, you start finding yourself trying
to relate or possibly emulate what you’re watching(If you saw Best Man
Holiday, you were watching the characters to see which one you could relate to
most, it’s what we do as humans. We want to be able to relate and to identify. That is no different in shows like these).
Also if someone (the someone being the media, or the TV shows or the music) is
constantly telling you repetitively what you are, you’re either going to stand against
it, or go along with it. I’m finding that a lot of the times, people just go along
with it. (Supporting it, promoting it, watching it, is going along with it).
You’re accepting it. We as a people have
gotten conditioned to just accepting the labels that have been thrown on us.
Who’s willing to stand up and speak up against it? Are we
too afraid to not be with the in crowd that we just accept foolishness? Or are
we starting to believe America in thinking that we aren’t worth being
successful black women in a faithful marriage on the TV screen?( Now BET did
have a show, can’t remember the name of it with Tracee Ellis Ross, she was
married and had a family, it was good and wholesome. Sadly it was not really
accepted within the black community, it was said to be “corny” or “boring”, but
why? Because the family was successful and the wife wasn’t cheating or being
dogged out? This is what I’m talking about; we’ve been condition to seeing our people in drama and mess, that’s
all we find entertaining.)
People are quick to be
like “#TeamOlivia”, but you know good and well, if someone was messing with
your husband or boyfriend you’d call her everything but a child of God. Why
practice things that go against a godly marriage by watching and participating in
the foolishness the world has to offer?
Someone asked on Twitter “Why don’t we ever see white women
as the “side chicks” in popular sitcoms” My response was “You Never will, they
don’t exploit themselves in that way, only on reality TV”, that’s the
truth. White America treats Black women,
the same way they did slaves back in the day, it’s just modernized. To them we
are just sex objects, it’s fun to them to see a black woman used in that
manner. This is done on purpose!
I just want to provoke the thought process of my sisters,
even my brothers; we don’t have to accept the images America has of us. We can’t
allow America to dictate who we are and how we feel about one another. We can’t
be desensitized to the many different ways America try’s to oppress us.( Yes in
my eyes portraying a black women in such a low
way of cheating with someone’s husband is oppression. It’s hindering and destroying
the family structure and the way God intended marriage to be. Trying to
keep us believing we don’t deserve better than sneaking around and lying). I
just want better for my sister’s and brothers. I especially want my sisters to
know that we are beautiful just the way we are, and we don’t need to sleep
around with anyone for that to be known. We can be great and successful without
going after someone else’s husband. Boyfriends,
Friends,crushes, etc do NOT get husband treatment period. You are worth the wait. You are
worth someone going to God and praying for you and then marrying you. You are worth it. You won’t find your
worth on the TV or movie screen, you won’t find it in the music video’s on the
cds, you won’t find it in a man pressuring you for sex, and you certainly won’t
find it in a man that’s already married.
You will ONLY find
your worth in God. You are so valuable to God he sent his son Jesus Christ
to die on a cross, and rose the 3rd day to save you from your sins. Look to him for your value, not anyone else.
If you love someone tell them
I love you
Destaynee
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