Thursday, December 12, 2013

What would cause a Christian to leave their local church?

From reading the title, I’m sure your brain has already formulated reasons as to why a Christian would leave their local church. Reasons like money hungry pastors, taking multiple “offerings”, preachers preaching word that is not sound doctrine, preaching opinion’s and personal biases as opposed to the gospel, preaching prosperity and not salvation, messy ministries, and church member’s etc. There are various reasons why a Christian would leave their local church.

Have you ever met someone that was spiritually sound, but when it came time to inquire about what church they attend, they say “Oh I don’t belong to a local church”, and when you invite them to your church, they say “Oh thank you, but I’m sure I won’t be visiting”. When I heard this response, I was like wow she either doesn’t feel the need to have an under-shepherd who she can learn from and grow spiritually, or she’s been hurt by the church in the past. I usually go with the latter, because what Christian wouldn’t want to learn and grow more spiritually? I can’t judge people that leave their local church because recently I’ve been faced with the same decision.

Now there is nothing bad I can say about my local church. I love my Pastor and the ministers, and the minister’s wives, and some of the other lovely people I’ve come in contact since being here.( a lot of them, have really embraced me, especially me being a single mother) The only problem I have with the physical church(any church), are the people inside, pretending and posing to be a part of THEE church. I’m talking about the “aints”, not to be mistaken as saints. (I know someone somewhere is saying, well aren’t you judging folks?) Well somewhere in 1 Thessalonians 5:12 is says “And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you”  and in the 22nd verse says "Abstain from all appearance of evil". You need to know who you’re dealing with. You need to know not only so you can guard your heart, because you can’t receive everything from everyone. Also so you can know how to speak to them, can’t feed a baby meat, they need milk. So it’s not for judgmental reasons.

For the record, leaving the local church does not mean one has turned their back on God or on their faith. It’s not easy to deal with God’s “special” children. Also Church is for relationship reasons, building your relationship with Christ. Not for ritual or social reasons. Sadly a lot of Christians don’t realize they are doing things religiously and for social status within the church instead of for their relationship with Christ or fulfilling their service to God. Only what’s done for God will stand.

 Just because one leaves their church doesn’t mean they can’t do God’s work.  A lot of ministries (in my opinion) might be more effective if they got involved more with the community. Reach those that are ashamed to come to the church because of the judgment and lack of love and mercy shown to those that may have fallen. God meets us where we are; let’s meet others where they are too.

I’ve been faced with the decision to leave my local church or to stay. I know you’re wondering, well Des if you love your church so much, what would cause you to contemplate leaving it? That’s a very fair question.

As I stated more so on facebook and twitter, past few months have been extremely rough. Long story short some unresolved issues within my family resurfaced causing a major disconnect and misunderstanding and miscommunication. A man from my church, whom I thought was trustworthy (because I saw him in church, he was friendly not only to my son, but to other boys wanting to learn to play the drums) extended his hand to help my son and I out during these trying times opened his house to my son and myself.  Granted during this time I was depressed, had an anxiety attack, my world was up in the air and I wasn’t sure what was what. I was extremely vulnerable. This man who is 30years plus years my senior posing to have the 4 P’s (a provider, a priest, a protector and a prophet) but really had the other 4 P’s( predator, pretender, perpetrator, and phony) not only preyed on my vulnerability, but took advantage of it. Manipulation, control, scare tactics using God, twisting of scripture to not only get what he wanted, but to control and scare to say the least. This person lied/shared about everything I’ve disclosed to them to other people, probably more than I know.

I know you’re saying well Destaynee, you’re very mature spiritually how could you allow someone to twist scripture and do all these things. Again, fair question, but until you’re in the situation you’ll never know how you’ll respond. I was at one of the lower points of my life and felt as though I had no one. I was a perfect candidate for someone with a sinister plan and scheme; I appear quite vulnerable being a single parent who writes a very transparent blog. One thing is for sure is that I’m a child of God, and God has a great way of protecting his children. Though this experience has been traumatic to Daniel and myself, God held my hand through it all, and he will continue to.

Age does NOT equate wisdom nor does it equal spiritual soundness or spiritual understanding or correct interpretation of the scriptures.
False prophets are NOT limited to the tv screens, or the pulpit. They are everywhere on fb, Twitter, in the church, in the choir, etc... Don’t be fooled into thinking false prophets only "look" one way. Everyone in the church.... is not in THEE church.
Know God for yourself, know the word for yourself and discern, discern discern!

Also if a person has to convince you they are being “led” by God, they usually aren’t, and are just using God to manipulate you. When a person is led by God, they don’t have to announce it every time “God speaks to them”, because of the peace God will give to those in the situation.

(Disclaimer: My blog is not to bash, anyone or anything I talk about. It is solely to give my experiences and to share what I’ve learned. I know I’m not the only person facing the things I’ve faced, so I’m giving a voice to those too shy to speak up or a relief to those that think they are alone. Being a PK, I know what it’s like not being able to talk to anyone, so I want to be that for others, and I want my blog to be that for others also. We will overcome by the blood of the lamb, and the word of our testimony. Testimony’s are to be shared, regardless of how small or how big, how popular or unpopular. Every time I write, I’m risking judgment, from my peers, family, friends, strangers whomever. I’m to the point, where my life is not about me. We go through things not only for us to learn, but to help someone else, and for God to get the glory. My whole life is a testimony of God’s love for me, his keeping power, being my provider, his mercy and grace showered upon me. I can’t keep quiet about it, no matter how a person may look down on me or exile me.)

As far as me leaving my church, I feel my reasons would be valid, but satan, can’t beat me that easily. If I can sit in the same building with a man that raped me, surely I can be in the same building as someone that tried to ruin me and my family.

Forgiveness is divine, trust me, I couldn’t do it on my own.

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Sincerely,

Once was blinded, but now has perfect vision.


Destaynee

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