Mother's Day 2014

If you’re looking for a sappy Mother’s Day poem, you won’t find it here.

If you’re looking to see Mother’s day from a non-commercialized perspective then you’re in the right place.

Now I’m not sure if I’m going post this, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to write it. People only like things when they are sweet, rainbows and sunflowers. Life as a young single mother, is not always sweet, rainbows and sunflowers. Reality is, there are some rough patches, hard times, and sleepless nights. However, no one talks about them, and no one cares about them.

Last night on Twitter, one of my friends from high school was tweeting about how it was for her as a teen mom. How she couldn’t be “excited” about the birth of her daughter because she was a teenager.  I had my son almost a month after I turned 20, so I can’t identify with the “teen mom” title per say, but it’s all the same. A lot of the things she was saying, I could totally relate to, as well as many other young mom’s and it was just heart breaking.

Holidays have always been “chill” for me. I never make a big fuss; I’ve spent Thanksgiving alone, New Years etc. I don’t really “hype” up over them. Mother’s day is no different. I guess because for the 4 years I’ve been a mother, it’s always an afterthought, when it comes to people acknowledging me as a mother. From relatives, friends, etc. I don’t get to hear that celebratory, genuine, enthusiastic “Happy Mother’s Day!!” that we told our mothers when we were kids. Expect from my son, I guess that’s all that matters right?!

Yesterday my son hurt his arm, playing rough. He wasn’t bleeding, it wasn’t fractured or nothing, no big deal. Well because I didn’t make a big deal over it someone very condescendingly said “Wow, mother of the year.”  At first it really hurt my feelings, because once again my efforts as a mother were being made a joke. I said “You know what; I am mother of the year. When my son was bullied at school, I cut back hours at work so I can sit in the classroom with him every day for 3 months. I then took him out of the school, before they tried to label him and stayed at home with him for over a month, then when I found a school I felt was good enough I enrolled him. So yes I am mother of the year, these past few months have been some of the hardest. I’ve had to make tough decisions, but I’ve done my best!” That person didn’t have a response.

 I remember crying out to a relative about the situation I just mentioned. The response I got was “Well this is the path you choose, when you decided to have a kid at 20, you don’t hear women in their 30’s complaining about taking care of their kids, so I don’t want to hear it from you.”

Mini Man's first birthday

The pain that caused me in my heart was unreal! Who says that?!

People always see a young mom or a single mom voicing their experiences and/or crying out for help as complaining. Truth is, we need a support system just like anybody else. Many of us don’t get that because either the people around us don’t agree with the choice we made, they don’t agree with us being an unwed mother, or they’ve been through it, and they want us to “learn” from our “mistakes”.  Truth is, most of us don’t want handouts or pity parties. We just want the same opportunities as every other mother. We want the same respect as every other mother.

I want to say HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, to all mothers. (Today is not that only day you can/should feel special. You should feel special every day knowing that God opened your womb and placed another life in there. That is amazing!! He chose you, to be a mother, a teacher, a doctor (unlicensed/or licensed) counselor, best friend and so much more.) From the young mother’s to the old mothers. To the new mom’s to the seasoned mom’s. The mom’s that had to put their children up for adoption, to the moms that stepped in an adopted those children. To the mother’s that lost their child to miscarriage, or forced abortion. You are to be celebrated! Regardless of your age, marital status, or situation you are a blessing to this world, and more importantly to your child(ren).

Mini man at 5 months

If you love someone tell them

I love you

Destaynee